Happiness indeed!

Ah, hello again!

You're probably going to laugh at what I have to say. Or at least roll your eyes at it. But yes, believe it or not, Geoff and I are back together. We've been talking the past while and the only reason he broke up with me was because we never saw each other. So yesterday, we met up for the first time since then, and wanted to talk about things. We were at the local park, sitting on the swings. We both admitted that we thought it would be awkward, but we were able to just sit there and talk again like old times! He still made his short jokes at my height, I still gave my little remarks about him, he still tickled my sides and poked my stomach...nothing had changed between us at all. After we were only there for a few minutes, a bunch of high teenagers came and sort of took over, so he decided to walk with me the long distance back to my house. Once we reached the corner of my neighborhood street, we stopped. He was like "So, tell me, how are we going to leave things?" and I bit my lip and was like "I honestly don't know. How do you think we should leave them?" He told me that what he wanted should be pretty obvious, and so I said my choice should be too. But the only thing I was worried about was how my friends would react, since he did hurt me so badly by not giving me a good reason. So I was telling him that I was sure, and that I was still so confused. By that point, we had taken a seat on the curb of the street and were just talking. Somehow we got off track as to this one time we got into a fake argument because I said he wouldn't do something that he threatened to do. So then he said "So right now, what would you do if I tackled you?" and I said "You wouldn't!" and then he was like "Okay." so then a few minutes later after we moved onto another subject, the next thing I know, I'm suddenly forced on my back by him and he's pinning my wrists above my head. He leans in and kisses me, the first time in that long period without him, and I nearly wanted to cry out of happiness. We then decided that we were finally going to get back together, just because neither one of us could resist the other. So yes!! I am so damn happy I could just scream.

Other than that wonderful news, nothing else is really new. I'm going on my last few days of summer vacation and I'm depressed about that. But I went to the open house at my school, so I'm a little pumped for the school year. I'm also auditioning for the school musical next week. It's going to be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. How they made it into a musical, I have no idea, but it is one. So I'm eager to participate.

For now, I have to go. I'll chat again later!

<3 M

Oh, my dear reader.

I feel terrible. I hope you can forgive me for not writing in over a month. This time in my life is so confusing and uncertain that I haven't had much time to do much of anything. Please allow me to take the next few minutes of your time to explain my life in a nutshell.

Not much honestly happened in the first part through the middle of July. Things were smooth, I was content with people I had around me...everything just started to seem to go right. Until July 24. It was a day were I was spending my day with Shelly, and we were just wandering around town. I got the idea "Hey, let's go to Geoff's house and say hi!" so we did, and we were hanging out with him in his garage. Though the instant I saw him, I knew something wasn't right. The look in his eyes was off, and he just seemed a bit unusual. When Shelly and I had to go, all he did was stand up and poke my sides. Nothing as much as a kiss or a hug was passed my way. So as Shelly and I left and walked all the way across town back to her house, I was worrying the entire time. It just seemed so unlike him to not be friendly with me. I eventually began crying out of the fright of him not loving me anymore. She said not to worry and that he was probably just in an awful mood.
But on July 25, my world slipped through my fingers and into the depths of hell. I was talking to him on the computer when we got into a bit of an argument. It ended with him telling me that he needed some time off, and that he wanted to do a few things by himself. I asked if he was breaking up with me, and he said yes. So I was sent spiralling into a place that hurt worse than the scissors I picked up. That night, I carved a small heart into my wrist. A blood made tattoo to remind myself that I will always love him. The heart is still slightly visible today. But I've managed to pull myself through this break up, and I have become closer with some of my friends. I even found out that two other people that I am super close with like me. But then again, they've sort of left me alone for a while...so I'm not sure.

That's about it for July. Now the month of August was quite random, random in the fact that it went by so damn quickly. I still feel like it's August first. No joke at all! So I did end up doing quite a lot. I went to the amusement park with Monica and I faced my fears of upside down rides. I can officially say that I will go on any amusement park ride that there is! That's quite exciting.
I have also had many long conversations with Tyler over the phone. One lasting almost two hours, which was wonderful. I swear that if I didn't have him, and his love, I wouldn't have gotten through this break up at all. Oh, I forgot to tell you about him, didn't I? He's a friend of mine I met online three years ago who now lives in Hawaii. We were supposed to meet this summer but we couldn't because my plans got cancelled, but we still talk and are closer than ever. We've sort of decided that we're meant to be, and that we'll end up together in the future. So I guess it's best we don't meet right away, that way it'll be better when we do.

So now it's the end of August. And I am on my last week of summer vacation. Currently I am depressed. But hey, it happens. Oh, and plus...Geoff and I have started talking again. I'm happy about it. Sure, he'll bring up some of our memories that make me want to cry, but that's automatically going to happen when you're with an ex. He actually told me he misses me. And I miss him too. But I don't think I can let him back into my life in that way quite yet. I'm still healing.

I have also started to do more with my poetry and my song writing. I have done better with the piano and the guitar, so I'm pleased with that. Being away from Geoff has inspired a lot of songs, hehe, so I guess that's the only good thing that came out of this all. I will try and post some of them on here. Only if you want me to? Leave a comment and let me know. Plus, now that school has started and I won't be super busy with summer fun, I'll probably be back to my weekly writing. Hooray!

As for now, I think I best be on my way. I'm so glad to have gotten caught up, and I hope that I will hear from some of you again. Talk to you later!