Hello there.
It's been a good few months, haha.
Happy turkey day tomorrow.
Well, I obviously don't update this much anymore. Which is a shame, but this year, I'm just so unbelievably busy. I mean, it's just crazy. So if you'd like to still communicate with me and know how my life has been, feel free to add me on myspace.
www.myspace.com/starsxandxboulevards
So what's happened since?
Certainly a ton.
Uhmmm...
Geoff and I are forever done. He hurt me so badly by telling the world my biggest, darkest, most dangerous secret. I don't know how to forgive him for that.
And plus, I started dating this guy named Cory. Two months ago on Friday, actually.
He's just amazing. He makes the past seem like a thousand years ago. It's so perfect, you cannot imagine. skldfjklasjm
Well, anyway, I did the big performance at our local coffee shop. It was fantastic. I feel I did very well, and I'm so proud that I was able to perform in front of a crowd that huge.
I guess that's pretty much it. It's been boring, people.
So add me on Myspace and I'll talk to you later.
<3 M
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Happiness indeed!
Ah, hello again!
You're probably going to laugh at what I have to say. Or at least roll your eyes at it. But yes, believe it or not, Geoff and I are back together. We've been talking the past while and the only reason he broke up with me was because we never saw each other. So yesterday, we met up for the first time since then, and wanted to talk about things. We were at the local park, sitting on the swings. We both admitted that we thought it would be awkward, but we were able to just sit there and talk again like old times! He still made his short jokes at my height, I still gave my little remarks about him, he still tickled my sides and poked my stomach...nothing had changed between us at all. After we were only there for a few minutes, a bunch of high teenagers came and sort of took over, so he decided to walk with me the long distance back to my house. Once we reached the corner of my neighborhood street, we stopped. He was like "So, tell me, how are we going to leave things?" and I bit my lip and was like "I honestly don't know. How do you think we should leave them?" He told me that what he wanted should be pretty obvious, and so I said my choice should be too. But the only thing I was worried about was how my friends would react, since he did hurt me so badly by not giving me a good reason. So I was telling him that I was sure, and that I was still so confused. By that point, we had taken a seat on the curb of the street and were just talking. Somehow we got off track as to this one time we got into a fake argument because I said he wouldn't do something that he threatened to do. So then he said "So right now, what would you do if I tackled you?" and I said "You wouldn't!" and then he was like "Okay." so then a few minutes later after we moved onto another subject, the next thing I know, I'm suddenly forced on my back by him and he's pinning my wrists above my head. He leans in and kisses me, the first time in that long period without him, and I nearly wanted to cry out of happiness. We then decided that we were finally going to get back together, just because neither one of us could resist the other. So yes!! I am so damn happy I could just scream.
Other than that wonderful news, nothing else is really new. I'm going on my last few days of summer vacation and I'm depressed about that. But I went to the open house at my school, so I'm a little pumped for the school year. I'm also auditioning for the school musical next week. It's going to be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. How they made it into a musical, I have no idea, but it is one. So I'm eager to participate.
For now, I have to go. I'll chat again later!
<3 M
You're probably going to laugh at what I have to say. Or at least roll your eyes at it. But yes, believe it or not, Geoff and I are back together. We've been talking the past while and the only reason he broke up with me was because we never saw each other. So yesterday, we met up for the first time since then, and wanted to talk about things. We were at the local park, sitting on the swings. We both admitted that we thought it would be awkward, but we were able to just sit there and talk again like old times! He still made his short jokes at my height, I still gave my little remarks about him, he still tickled my sides and poked my stomach...nothing had changed between us at all. After we were only there for a few minutes, a bunch of high teenagers came and sort of took over, so he decided to walk with me the long distance back to my house. Once we reached the corner of my neighborhood street, we stopped. He was like "So, tell me, how are we going to leave things?" and I bit my lip and was like "I honestly don't know. How do you think we should leave them?" He told me that what he wanted should be pretty obvious, and so I said my choice should be too. But the only thing I was worried about was how my friends would react, since he did hurt me so badly by not giving me a good reason. So I was telling him that I was sure, and that I was still so confused. By that point, we had taken a seat on the curb of the street and were just talking. Somehow we got off track as to this one time we got into a fake argument because I said he wouldn't do something that he threatened to do. So then he said "So right now, what would you do if I tackled you?" and I said "You wouldn't!" and then he was like "Okay." so then a few minutes later after we moved onto another subject, the next thing I know, I'm suddenly forced on my back by him and he's pinning my wrists above my head. He leans in and kisses me, the first time in that long period without him, and I nearly wanted to cry out of happiness. We then decided that we were finally going to get back together, just because neither one of us could resist the other. So yes!! I am so damn happy I could just scream.
Other than that wonderful news, nothing else is really new. I'm going on my last few days of summer vacation and I'm depressed about that. But I went to the open house at my school, so I'm a little pumped for the school year. I'm also auditioning for the school musical next week. It's going to be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. How they made it into a musical, I have no idea, but it is one. So I'm eager to participate.
For now, I have to go. I'll chat again later!
<3 M
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Oh, my dear reader.
I feel terrible. I hope you can forgive me for not writing in over a month. This time in my life is so confusing and uncertain that I haven't had much time to do much of anything. Please allow me to take the next few minutes of your time to explain my life in a nutshell.
Not much honestly happened in the first part through the middle of July. Things were smooth, I was content with people I had around me...everything just started to seem to go right. Until July 24. It was a day were I was spending my day with Shelly, and we were just wandering around town. I got the idea "Hey, let's go to Geoff's house and say hi!" so we did, and we were hanging out with him in his garage. Though the instant I saw him, I knew something wasn't right. The look in his eyes was off, and he just seemed a bit unusual. When Shelly and I had to go, all he did was stand up and poke my sides. Nothing as much as a kiss or a hug was passed my way. So as Shelly and I left and walked all the way across town back to her house, I was worrying the entire time. It just seemed so unlike him to not be friendly with me. I eventually began crying out of the fright of him not loving me anymore. She said not to worry and that he was probably just in an awful mood.
But on July 25, my world slipped through my fingers and into the depths of hell. I was talking to him on the computer when we got into a bit of an argument. It ended with him telling me that he needed some time off, and that he wanted to do a few things by himself. I asked if he was breaking up with me, and he said yes. So I was sent spiralling into a place that hurt worse than the scissors I picked up. That night, I carved a small heart into my wrist. A blood made tattoo to remind myself that I will always love him. The heart is still slightly visible today. But I've managed to pull myself through this break up, and I have become closer with some of my friends. I even found out that two other people that I am super close with like me. But then again, they've sort of left me alone for a while...so I'm not sure.
That's about it for July. Now the month of August was quite random, random in the fact that it went by so damn quickly. I still feel like it's August first. No joke at all! So I did end up doing quite a lot. I went to the amusement park with Monica and I faced my fears of upside down rides. I can officially say that I will go on any amusement park ride that there is! That's quite exciting.
I have also had many long conversations with Tyler over the phone. One lasting almost two hours, which was wonderful. I swear that if I didn't have him, and his love, I wouldn't have gotten through this break up at all. Oh, I forgot to tell you about him, didn't I? He's a friend of mine I met online three years ago who now lives in Hawaii. We were supposed to meet this summer but we couldn't because my plans got cancelled, but we still talk and are closer than ever. We've sort of decided that we're meant to be, and that we'll end up together in the future. So I guess it's best we don't meet right away, that way it'll be better when we do.
So now it's the end of August. And I am on my last week of summer vacation. Currently I am depressed. But hey, it happens. Oh, and plus...Geoff and I have started talking again. I'm happy about it. Sure, he'll bring up some of our memories that make me want to cry, but that's automatically going to happen when you're with an ex. He actually told me he misses me. And I miss him too. But I don't think I can let him back into my life in that way quite yet. I'm still healing.
I have also started to do more with my poetry and my song writing. I have done better with the piano and the guitar, so I'm pleased with that. Being away from Geoff has inspired a lot of songs, hehe, so I guess that's the only good thing that came out of this all. I will try and post some of them on here. Only if you want me to? Leave a comment and let me know. Plus, now that school has started and I won't be super busy with summer fun, I'll probably be back to my weekly writing. Hooray!
As for now, I think I best be on my way. I'm so glad to have gotten caught up, and I hope that I will hear from some of you again. Talk to you later!
I feel terrible. I hope you can forgive me for not writing in over a month. This time in my life is so confusing and uncertain that I haven't had much time to do much of anything. Please allow me to take the next few minutes of your time to explain my life in a nutshell.
Not much honestly happened in the first part through the middle of July. Things were smooth, I was content with people I had around me...everything just started to seem to go right. Until July 24. It was a day were I was spending my day with Shelly, and we were just wandering around town. I got the idea "Hey, let's go to Geoff's house and say hi!" so we did, and we were hanging out with him in his garage. Though the instant I saw him, I knew something wasn't right. The look in his eyes was off, and he just seemed a bit unusual. When Shelly and I had to go, all he did was stand up and poke my sides. Nothing as much as a kiss or a hug was passed my way. So as Shelly and I left and walked all the way across town back to her house, I was worrying the entire time. It just seemed so unlike him to not be friendly with me. I eventually began crying out of the fright of him not loving me anymore. She said not to worry and that he was probably just in an awful mood.
But on July 25, my world slipped through my fingers and into the depths of hell. I was talking to him on the computer when we got into a bit of an argument. It ended with him telling me that he needed some time off, and that he wanted to do a few things by himself. I asked if he was breaking up with me, and he said yes. So I was sent spiralling into a place that hurt worse than the scissors I picked up. That night, I carved a small heart into my wrist. A blood made tattoo to remind myself that I will always love him. The heart is still slightly visible today. But I've managed to pull myself through this break up, and I have become closer with some of my friends. I even found out that two other people that I am super close with like me. But then again, they've sort of left me alone for a while...so I'm not sure.
That's about it for July. Now the month of August was quite random, random in the fact that it went by so damn quickly. I still feel like it's August first. No joke at all! So I did end up doing quite a lot. I went to the amusement park with Monica and I faced my fears of upside down rides. I can officially say that I will go on any amusement park ride that there is! That's quite exciting.
I have also had many long conversations with Tyler over the phone. One lasting almost two hours, which was wonderful. I swear that if I didn't have him, and his love, I wouldn't have gotten through this break up at all. Oh, I forgot to tell you about him, didn't I? He's a friend of mine I met online three years ago who now lives in Hawaii. We were supposed to meet this summer but we couldn't because my plans got cancelled, but we still talk and are closer than ever. We've sort of decided that we're meant to be, and that we'll end up together in the future. So I guess it's best we don't meet right away, that way it'll be better when we do.
So now it's the end of August. And I am on my last week of summer vacation. Currently I am depressed. But hey, it happens. Oh, and plus...Geoff and I have started talking again. I'm happy about it. Sure, he'll bring up some of our memories that make me want to cry, but that's automatically going to happen when you're with an ex. He actually told me he misses me. And I miss him too. But I don't think I can let him back into my life in that way quite yet. I'm still healing.
I have also started to do more with my poetry and my song writing. I have done better with the piano and the guitar, so I'm pleased with that. Being away from Geoff has inspired a lot of songs, hehe, so I guess that's the only good thing that came out of this all. I will try and post some of them on here. Only if you want me to? Leave a comment and let me know. Plus, now that school has started and I won't be super busy with summer fun, I'll probably be back to my weekly writing. Hooray!
As for now, I think I best be on my way. I'm so glad to have gotten caught up, and I hope that I will hear from some of you again. Talk to you later!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
In the midst of the silence...
Oh, reader.
It does not appear that I am having much action on my blog then, hm? The only thing that really keeps me posting is the fact that I receive comments and people enjoy what I write. Though lately, I haven't gotten any feedback. And it lowers my inspiration by a large amount.
Everything in my life right now is perfectly well, so I don't have much to say. Geoff and I are better than ever, and I'm getting along with everyone just fine. I had a wonderful weekend with my friends and now I'm just enjoying the day to relax while the family and I are having a barbaque.
I'll try and check in later, hopefully a little more inspired, and I'll go into detail on how delightful everything seems. Feedback would make me feel wonderous.
Oh, also, I'm looking for someone who is very good at coming up with melodies for songs. I wrote one, last night, and I cannot come up with a tune for it. Let me know if you're interested in seeing it.
Ciao, and Happy Late Fourth!
<3 M
It does not appear that I am having much action on my blog then, hm? The only thing that really keeps me posting is the fact that I receive comments and people enjoy what I write. Though lately, I haven't gotten any feedback. And it lowers my inspiration by a large amount.
Everything in my life right now is perfectly well, so I don't have much to say. Geoff and I are better than ever, and I'm getting along with everyone just fine. I had a wonderful weekend with my friends and now I'm just enjoying the day to relax while the family and I are having a barbaque.
I'll try and check in later, hopefully a little more inspired, and I'll go into detail on how delightful everything seems. Feedback would make me feel wonderous.
Oh, also, I'm looking for someone who is very good at coming up with melodies for songs. I wrote one, last night, and I cannot come up with a tune for it. Let me know if you're interested in seeing it.
Ciao, and Happy Late Fourth!
<3 M
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Nude bodies in the icy lake...
Whoo, hello.
This week was sort of random. Er, VERY random. Father's Day party was fun, the one I went to.
Uh, Monday I went with Anne to a soccer game and we hung out at the park. We got to kick some goals and talk around with the players, which were our classmates, so it was pretty fun.
Tuesday I had voice lessons for the first time. Let me tell you, it was sort of embarrassing. I have allergies, so my voice kept cracking and fading out. My instructor, Miss Gail, just laughed along with me and said it was okay. But still I was quite nervous, for she is the most wonderful singer. So afterwards, my mother took me to the mall and I got banana pants! Ha, they're actually yellow skinny jeans. From Wet Seal. They're awesome, but too long because I'm so short.
Alright, Wednesday I went over to Morgan and Jessie's house. We walked to Gordy's, this family owned restaurant in town, and had milkshakes and fries. We hung out at the elementary school park for a while, then went back to their house.
Now Thursday...so dramatic. It's really quite terrifying. I was talking to Geoff online, and he wanted me to go see a movie with him on Friday. I had plans to go with Anne, so I just said maybe. I was planning on sitting with both of them until this started.
He told me he was going to go with his friend Trevor to the movie and that these two girls from another school would be there, because he was trying to hook one of them up with Trevor and the other up with his brother. I didn't like the sound of him going to a movie without me and with other girls, but I didn't want to bother him, so I just acted like I was okay with it. Geoff thought I meant that I wasn't going to go, so he started saying things like "Well what if one of them offers to do something? It'd be hard to turn down, and I could slip if you aren't there." I completely took that the wrong way, and I thought he meant that he was planning on doing something with another girl. So I started to freak out completely, and I tore up my wrist with the handy razor again that night.
So I get a message on Myspace saying that he was sorry for saying things wrong and that he really didn't plan on doing anything. But I told him just because he mentioned the possibility, my trust was beginning to wear off. He said the only reason he said that thing was that he really wanted me to go and he thought I would have ditched him without being told that information. I started crying then and we both apologized, so things are alright now. (Note: that story is a LOT longer. But I edited a ton to save time and space.)
We went to the movie and all was well, except he didn't seem to be as close to me as usual. I think it was because his friend was there and so was mine, so it was awkward. But I think we're okay.
Alright, Saturday and Sunday, I went camping with Rae again. And we FINALLY went skinny dipping! In the rain! It was amazingly fun. Except these boats kept going by and watching our nude little bodies, so we felt violated. Oh, and also while we were camping, there were these two guys who pretty much stalked us around when we drove the golf cart saying "Hey, ladies" and "You're hot."
They were lame, so eh. We both have boyfriends anyway.
And I finally drove a four wheeler! In the woods! It was all just dandy, until I nearly crashed us into a tree. There's a short story there, but I better go so I'm not wasting your time by babbling.
Oh, I haven't told you about my..friend..Tyler have I? I don't think so. It's so complicated. But he proposes a dilemma that I love, and it's fate. So I'll try and come on tomorrow in my spare time and write an entire entry about him. Or whenever I have time. So keep checking in!
Goodnight, reader!
<3 M
This week was sort of random. Er, VERY random. Father's Day party was fun, the one I went to.
Uh, Monday I went with Anne to a soccer game and we hung out at the park. We got to kick some goals and talk around with the players, which were our classmates, so it was pretty fun.
Tuesday I had voice lessons for the first time. Let me tell you, it was sort of embarrassing. I have allergies, so my voice kept cracking and fading out. My instructor, Miss Gail, just laughed along with me and said it was okay. But still I was quite nervous, for she is the most wonderful singer. So afterwards, my mother took me to the mall and I got banana pants! Ha, they're actually yellow skinny jeans. From Wet Seal. They're awesome, but too long because I'm so short.
Alright, Wednesday I went over to Morgan and Jessie's house. We walked to Gordy's, this family owned restaurant in town, and had milkshakes and fries. We hung out at the elementary school park for a while, then went back to their house.
Now Thursday...so dramatic. It's really quite terrifying. I was talking to Geoff online, and he wanted me to go see a movie with him on Friday. I had plans to go with Anne, so I just said maybe. I was planning on sitting with both of them until this started.
He told me he was going to go with his friend Trevor to the movie and that these two girls from another school would be there, because he was trying to hook one of them up with Trevor and the other up with his brother. I didn't like the sound of him going to a movie without me and with other girls, but I didn't want to bother him, so I just acted like I was okay with it. Geoff thought I meant that I wasn't going to go, so he started saying things like "Well what if one of them offers to do something? It'd be hard to turn down, and I could slip if you aren't there." I completely took that the wrong way, and I thought he meant that he was planning on doing something with another girl. So I started to freak out completely, and I tore up my wrist with the handy razor again that night.
So I get a message on Myspace saying that he was sorry for saying things wrong and that he really didn't plan on doing anything. But I told him just because he mentioned the possibility, my trust was beginning to wear off. He said the only reason he said that thing was that he really wanted me to go and he thought I would have ditched him without being told that information. I started crying then and we both apologized, so things are alright now. (Note: that story is a LOT longer. But I edited a ton to save time and space.)
We went to the movie and all was well, except he didn't seem to be as close to me as usual. I think it was because his friend was there and so was mine, so it was awkward. But I think we're okay.
Alright, Saturday and Sunday, I went camping with Rae again. And we FINALLY went skinny dipping! In the rain! It was amazingly fun. Except these boats kept going by and watching our nude little bodies, so we felt violated. Oh, and also while we were camping, there were these two guys who pretty much stalked us around when we drove the golf cart saying "Hey, ladies" and "You're hot."
They were lame, so eh. We both have boyfriends anyway.
And I finally drove a four wheeler! In the woods! It was all just dandy, until I nearly crashed us into a tree. There's a short story there, but I better go so I'm not wasting your time by babbling.
Oh, I haven't told you about my..friend..Tyler have I? I don't think so. It's so complicated. But he proposes a dilemma that I love, and it's fate. So I'll try and come on tomorrow in my spare time and write an entire entry about him. Or whenever I have time. So keep checking in!
Goodnight, reader!
<3 M
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Important link at the bottom of this!
Afternoon, friends!
For some reason it feels like forever and a half since I've written in here. Hmm. It's only been a week though...
Anyways. Let's get on with my week. Saturday I did nothing of interest, so we won't even talk about it, hehe. Beware- This post is horribly LONG!
Sunday...was a very dramatic day. To begin with, Monica came over to my house and we went down into the forest again. We had scissors with us and we opened up the bag, and it turns out the stuff inside looks identical to crystal meth! I have some pictures, but they aren't on the computer yet, and I'm a horribly lazy person. So you'll see them eventually if you'd really like to.
We got back to my house and decided to do a "tick check" to be sure we didn't have any. I being lucky didn't have a single one! But Monica...hahaha, she had two. One was in her hair that she made me get out while she was having a spazz attack, and the other was under her tank top which was under her t-shirt which was under her sweatshirt! How gross is that? Afterwards, we went on the computer and looked up how to identify meth and such just so we could be sure we really found it. Then all of a sudden Geoff signed online and IM'd me. The conversation was as follows:
Him: Sup?
Me: Hey, not much.
Me: Monica's here. You?
Him: Sweet. Nothing here.
Me: Ah. Dude, you won't believe what we found!
Him: Actually, I have to go. But we need to talk!
(Then he signed offline)
So my eyes got all huge and I was like "WE NEED TO TALK!? THAT'S THE BREAK-UP LINE!!!" and Monica was trying to calm me down. She said that it was nothing and that he just meant he wanted to talk with me. Now that really was on my mind the rest of the day, and I just felt so scared. We went to Monica's house afterwards and I called him. Conversation is as follows, with some editing:
"Hey, uhm, you said we need to talk?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice."
"Oh..okay...about..what?"
"Well, it's a conversation I'd rather not have over the phone."
(I began to shake)
"Er...why not?"
"I have to go, sorry, bye."
(And he hung up.)
I went back into the living room with Monica and I just burst into tears. I couldn't figure out why he'd be acting that way unless he wanted to end it. Doesn't it seem like it? Well, reader, I'd rather not admit to this, but after that I went into the bathroom. I found her razor, and well, I cut a few places into my wrist again. But I put a wad of TP on it so it wouldn't bleed onto my sweatshirt.
She and I went outside and just sat for a bit (I didn't tell her I did that), but then I got the courage to call him back. I said that if he needed to say something in person that he was to meet me at the top of our largest park in town, which was conveniently across the street from Monica's. He agreed and met me there. So when I saw him, I was so terrified...and reader, it was just like a movie. The instant he came, it started to pour rain, so we sat on a bench in the park in the rain showers. It turns out, all he needed to talk to me about was whether or not a summer relationship would work or not. I asked him if he wanted it to and he said that he would love for it too, but he was just questioning it because we hadn't seen each other since school had gotten out and apparently he missed me. I was in shock, and like "That's ALL this was about!?" and it was, so I pretty much had heart failure from relief that he wasn't going to break up with me. He looked into my eyes and noticed I had been crying, and then we started hugging, and he apologized for making me wait to hear news. He asked if I was okay, and I said "I guess, but I'll keep my sleeves down." I shouldn't have said that because then he lifted them up and saw the cuts, and he got even more upset. I guess he felt really bad about driving me enough to do that. So we set things straight and then he had to go to baseball, and after one more kiss, we parted. I'm so glad it was just that.
Wow, whew, Monday was nothing special. I stayed over at Monica's house two nights in a row. Yippee, right?
Ooooh, Tuesday at Monica's, Geoff came over for the movie thing. (Jared couldn't make it.) So we watched the movie "Se`ance" and stuff. When Geoff and I left, he walked me home, and we had a deep discussion. I finally confessed to him why I didn't want to do those sexual things with him at this age...and you know what he said? (quote)"I understand that. Don't worry, I'll wait until you're ready. And I wouldn't care if that was ten years from now!"
I'm so relieved! Now I can stay pure AND still have him!
Alright, I'm trying to shorten this up, so we'll skip the boring two days.
Friday (yesterday) I went over to his house in the morning/early afternoon to be with him before I went camping with Rae for two days. Not much happened at his house, just the usual hugs and kisses and conversations.
Camping was a blast. It was only like, 50 degrees outside, so no one was swimming at the lake. Being the weird people we are Rae, Myrissa, Brooke, and I all decided to go in the water. The instant I stepped in, I regretted it, because I bet the water was at the freezing point! I swear on my life, it was that cold! But we swam anyway, and we swam all the way to the middle of the lake where it was like, 100ft deep. I swear, I was so cold and I couldn't feel a single part on my body. Now I know what the poor people from Titanic had to go through. :O
We went swimming again today in the morning and it was probably colder. But we left and I got home this afternoon.
Whew! That's it! I'm done! There was my week in a nutshell!
Ooh, so anyway, the important link--
www.quizilla.com/users/Musical--Heart
That's my Quizilla page where I have my poems and my novel, Morning Frost. I said I would give you guys the link in time and so here it is! Please, read through my things, and let me know on what you think!
I'd better leave now so I can work on chapter eighteen.
Oh, and Happy Father's Day to your dad's tomorrow!
<3 M
For some reason it feels like forever and a half since I've written in here. Hmm. It's only been a week though...
Anyways. Let's get on with my week. Saturday I did nothing of interest, so we won't even talk about it, hehe. Beware- This post is horribly LONG!
Sunday...was a very dramatic day. To begin with, Monica came over to my house and we went down into the forest again. We had scissors with us and we opened up the bag, and it turns out the stuff inside looks identical to crystal meth! I have some pictures, but they aren't on the computer yet, and I'm a horribly lazy person. So you'll see them eventually if you'd really like to.
We got back to my house and decided to do a "tick check" to be sure we didn't have any. I being lucky didn't have a single one! But Monica...hahaha, she had two. One was in her hair that she made me get out while she was having a spazz attack, and the other was under her tank top which was under her t-shirt which was under her sweatshirt! How gross is that? Afterwards, we went on the computer and looked up how to identify meth and such just so we could be sure we really found it. Then all of a sudden Geoff signed online and IM'd me. The conversation was as follows:
Him: Sup?
Me: Hey, not much.
Me: Monica's here. You?
Him: Sweet. Nothing here.
Me: Ah. Dude, you won't believe what we found!
Him: Actually, I have to go. But we need to talk!
(Then he signed offline)
So my eyes got all huge and I was like "WE NEED TO TALK!? THAT'S THE BREAK-UP LINE!!!" and Monica was trying to calm me down. She said that it was nothing and that he just meant he wanted to talk with me. Now that really was on my mind the rest of the day, and I just felt so scared. We went to Monica's house afterwards and I called him. Conversation is as follows, with some editing:
"Hey, uhm, you said we need to talk?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice."
"Oh..okay...about..what?"
"Well, it's a conversation I'd rather not have over the phone."
(I began to shake)
"Er...why not?"
"I have to go, sorry, bye."
(And he hung up.)
I went back into the living room with Monica and I just burst into tears. I couldn't figure out why he'd be acting that way unless he wanted to end it. Doesn't it seem like it? Well, reader, I'd rather not admit to this, but after that I went into the bathroom. I found her razor, and well, I cut a few places into my wrist again. But I put a wad of TP on it so it wouldn't bleed onto my sweatshirt.
She and I went outside and just sat for a bit (I didn't tell her I did that), but then I got the courage to call him back. I said that if he needed to say something in person that he was to meet me at the top of our largest park in town, which was conveniently across the street from Monica's. He agreed and met me there. So when I saw him, I was so terrified...and reader, it was just like a movie. The instant he came, it started to pour rain, so we sat on a bench in the park in the rain showers. It turns out, all he needed to talk to me about was whether or not a summer relationship would work or not. I asked him if he wanted it to and he said that he would love for it too, but he was just questioning it because we hadn't seen each other since school had gotten out and apparently he missed me. I was in shock, and like "That's ALL this was about!?" and it was, so I pretty much had heart failure from relief that he wasn't going to break up with me. He looked into my eyes and noticed I had been crying, and then we started hugging, and he apologized for making me wait to hear news. He asked if I was okay, and I said "I guess, but I'll keep my sleeves down." I shouldn't have said that because then he lifted them up and saw the cuts, and he got even more upset. I guess he felt really bad about driving me enough to do that. So we set things straight and then he had to go to baseball, and after one more kiss, we parted. I'm so glad it was just that.
Wow, whew, Monday was nothing special. I stayed over at Monica's house two nights in a row. Yippee, right?
Ooooh, Tuesday at Monica's, Geoff came over for the movie thing. (Jared couldn't make it.) So we watched the movie "Se`ance" and stuff. When Geoff and I left, he walked me home, and we had a deep discussion. I finally confessed to him why I didn't want to do those sexual things with him at this age...and you know what he said? (quote)"I understand that. Don't worry, I'll wait until you're ready. And I wouldn't care if that was ten years from now!"
I'm so relieved! Now I can stay pure AND still have him!
Alright, I'm trying to shorten this up, so we'll skip the boring two days.
Friday (yesterday) I went over to his house in the morning/early afternoon to be with him before I went camping with Rae for two days. Not much happened at his house, just the usual hugs and kisses and conversations.
Camping was a blast. It was only like, 50 degrees outside, so no one was swimming at the lake. Being the weird people we are Rae, Myrissa, Brooke, and I all decided to go in the water. The instant I stepped in, I regretted it, because I bet the water was at the freezing point! I swear on my life, it was that cold! But we swam anyway, and we swam all the way to the middle of the lake where it was like, 100ft deep. I swear, I was so cold and I couldn't feel a single part on my body. Now I know what the poor people from Titanic had to go through. :O
We went swimming again today in the morning and it was probably colder. But we left and I got home this afternoon.
Whew! That's it! I'm done! There was my week in a nutshell!
Ooh, so anyway, the important link--
www.quizilla.com/users/Musical--Heart
That's my Quizilla page where I have my poems and my novel, Morning Frost. I said I would give you guys the link in time and so here it is! Please, read through my things, and let me know on what you think!
I'd better leave now so I can work on chapter eighteen.
Oh, and Happy Father's Day to your dad's tomorrow!
<3 M
Saturday, June 7, 2008
"We found drugs!" says Anne
Hello, there!
I'm finally out of school, and it's officially the summer of 08! Let's hear a big HOORAY!
Well, if you read my last post and you're curious, I've decided to stick with my gut and not do any dirty things. Besides, Shelly and I made a vow not to anyway.
Well, hmm, the school week was boring until the last day. Everyone was counting down until the bell rang, and so we all got very excited when boarding the buses. I had Anne come home with me for the afternoon, because then we were going to stay over at Shelly's. So while we were waiting for Shelly to get back from her dentist appointment, Anne and I went for a walk in the forest next to my house. I got some really beautiful photos of the forest and this little river, so I was pleased with that. Everything was finally blooming, including all the beautiful flowers. [See the first and last pictures above.]
Well, anyway, we began to walk up this terribly steep hill loaded with pine trees and fallen branches. I fell quite a lot, since I'm not a good hiker, but we still made it surprisingly to the top. I was ahead of Anne, so when I got to the top and saw it, I was like "Whoa...." and so she said "What?!" and I pointed. There before us stood some rusty, creepy old abandoned shed. Now that probably doesn't sound at all weird, but trust me, it is. Why, you might ask? Because it's in the middle of freaking nowhere! There's no other building around here, or anything. Just a random shed. We looked inside, and there was a pile of something in the middle but it was too rusted over and covered with dirt for us to tell what it was. [See the second picture above of Anne peeking inside.]
So if that wasn't weird enough, when we came down the hill, we went to the other side and found these tree branches that were perfectly arranged in this scary looking tower. I wish I had a picture to show you guys, but my camera died right about then.
And just before it died, I looked at the base of a tree and saw some rope with two mysterious objects. They were bags of something, though they look like bean bags, and so I thought they were bean bags. But then I poked it with my foot, and there's something much more solid than beads or whatever inside. Dude, they were so heavy, it took quite an effort to raise them with our feet. I really don't know what's in them, but Anne thinks it's drugs. And I guess that's a possibility, seeing all the beer bottles lying around the area too, but still, who knows. We're going to go back down there again shortly, though armed, and we're going to open them up. [The bags are the third picture above.]
So yes, we went to Shelly's, and the following day (yesterday) we had a party at our friend Spencer's house to go to. It was really fun, and hehe...it went from eight to midnight, so we were playing night games outside. Since where I live is the rainiest place on the planet, it had rained that day, so there were puddles literally soaking his lawn. It was dark, and none of us could see them, so we all got soaked running around. I was wearing my red high tops, and well, they got soaked to the top. And Shelly lost her shoe in a puddle of mud, and that was ultimately hilarious. But all in all, it was a good time.
I didn't do diddly squat today. I was waiting for Monica to call me to hang out at her house, because we were going to rent a movie and watch it together and have Geoff and Jared (her honey) over. But no, Monica never called, and when I called her, there was no answer the entire day. So I'm a bit pissy now.
Well, enjoy the photos, and now I'm on summer vacay, I'll post a bit more frequently. Ciao!
<3 M
Friday, May 30, 2008
Is it possible to say "Screw the sex"?
Here's another late update on the wonderful life of M!
So I left off before my dance recital....
The recital went great! I did well, and our group did okay. Not much else to say about it...sorry.
Not much happened on Sunday, and Monday I went over to Geoff's house. We layed in his room and watched Disturbia, pretty much cuddled and made out the entire time. I fell asleep on him, as usual. I swear, that guy is the most comfortable thing to lay on! I'm not trying to make him sound like he's fat, because he's most definitely not, but I dunno...I can always be relaxed when laying on him.
The rest of the school week went well. On Tuesday, for our class trip, we went to this amusement park. That was awesome, because I love rides. For the very last ride that we were going to go on, we went on this water one that was absolutely freezing cold. It was pretty hilarious since it was only about sixty degrees outside.
OH! And guess what happened when we were in line for this roller coaster called The Renegade?
When we were in line for the Renegade, there was this group of guys around our age behind us.
They were talking really loud and stuff, and two of them wearing black t-shirts kept looking at me. Next thing I know, I feel something hit my butt. I turned around like "Uh!?" and the really good looking one said "Sorry, was that you I kneed?" and I was like "Yup. I felt something hit my ass, so it must have been you." and his friends started giggling, and he was like "Right, sorry, tried to hit this guy here." and punched his friend in the arm. I laughed and just turned around. But when I would glance back, every freaking time, that guy would watch me. And then he timed the lines so that we'd be on the same roller coaster cart! So we were and I was a few seats ahead of him. When we got off, he punched his fists in the air to look silly and was like "WHOO, dude!" and so I just laughed at him and walked away. Oh, and apparently when they walked by us a few hours later, Shelly said he kept staring at me when he walked by.
It's so bothersome though! The one time I'm NOT single, I can get a guy to easily flirt with me.
Well, then on Wednesday, we had our annual Reward Day where you got to do a bunch of different activities during the entire school day. During this one while we were on a walk, I made a deal with Shelly that neither of us would get sexually involved until we get a bit older. We both promised, and now reader, this is where I need your help and opinions!
Today after school, I went over to Geoff's house again. We just hung out for a bit and then decided to play Twenty Questions. The questions got deep, and I learned a few things about him that made me feel really awkward. Like the fact that he's got pretty close to having sex, while this is the very first real relationship I've ever had! And some of the other things he told me...well, it makes it sound as though some point in time, he wants to do those sorts of things with me. I didn't know exactly what to say, so I just said "We'll see...."
But, oh, reader....what am I going to do?
I'm a very strong believer in God, you see, and the better half of me is telling me that things like that are wrong to do before marriage or until I get older. I also get really shy and nervous about being close to someone, and I just don't think I could ever bring myself to doing things like that at this age. But then when he touches me, I feel totally different, like I want to do things of the sort. It's like my total teenage instincts coming out, and each and every horomone fighting with my mind and the right decision. I'm also afraid that if I end up telling him no, that he'll love me less. I mean, I know he respects me enough to not force me in to things, but won't it be so weird to be around him just after denying? I mean what if he ends up breaking up with me over that? What if things change? I just can't stand why sex is the thing that everyone thinks about! What's so damn great about it, anyway?
I asked him today why exactly guys want so much sexual stuff, and he said that the lust is out of their control. It's just something they're born with, and it's just something they need.
In a way I understand, but come on! How unfair is that to a woman? It's very disrespectful! And ugh, reader, I'm just so confused. I know deep down that I won't let things get very far, but how is that going to effect things? Sometimes I wish I were still young, you know? Back when no one knew what sex was, and the idea of dating was just innocent.
I know I love him. I told him that today, and he said he loves me too. But does he really love me enough to know that I want my body respected and that I need to respect myself also?
Please, I need feedback. I need to understand what to do.
That's all for now.
<3 M
So I left off before my dance recital....
The recital went great! I did well, and our group did okay. Not much else to say about it...sorry.
Not much happened on Sunday, and Monday I went over to Geoff's house. We layed in his room and watched Disturbia, pretty much cuddled and made out the entire time. I fell asleep on him, as usual. I swear, that guy is the most comfortable thing to lay on! I'm not trying to make him sound like he's fat, because he's most definitely not, but I dunno...I can always be relaxed when laying on him.
The rest of the school week went well. On Tuesday, for our class trip, we went to this amusement park. That was awesome, because I love rides. For the very last ride that we were going to go on, we went on this water one that was absolutely freezing cold. It was pretty hilarious since it was only about sixty degrees outside.
OH! And guess what happened when we were in line for this roller coaster called The Renegade?
When we were in line for the Renegade, there was this group of guys around our age behind us.
They were talking really loud and stuff, and two of them wearing black t-shirts kept looking at me. Next thing I know, I feel something hit my butt. I turned around like "Uh!?" and the really good looking one said "Sorry, was that you I kneed?" and I was like "Yup. I felt something hit my ass, so it must have been you." and his friends started giggling, and he was like "Right, sorry, tried to hit this guy here." and punched his friend in the arm. I laughed and just turned around. But when I would glance back, every freaking time, that guy would watch me. And then he timed the lines so that we'd be on the same roller coaster cart! So we were and I was a few seats ahead of him. When we got off, he punched his fists in the air to look silly and was like "WHOO, dude!" and so I just laughed at him and walked away. Oh, and apparently when they walked by us a few hours later, Shelly said he kept staring at me when he walked by.
It's so bothersome though! The one time I'm NOT single, I can get a guy to easily flirt with me.
Well, then on Wednesday, we had our annual Reward Day where you got to do a bunch of different activities during the entire school day. During this one while we were on a walk, I made a deal with Shelly that neither of us would get sexually involved until we get a bit older. We both promised, and now reader, this is where I need your help and opinions!
Today after school, I went over to Geoff's house again. We just hung out for a bit and then decided to play Twenty Questions. The questions got deep, and I learned a few things about him that made me feel really awkward. Like the fact that he's got pretty close to having sex, while this is the very first real relationship I've ever had! And some of the other things he told me...well, it makes it sound as though some point in time, he wants to do those sorts of things with me. I didn't know exactly what to say, so I just said "We'll see...."
But, oh, reader....what am I going to do?
I'm a very strong believer in God, you see, and the better half of me is telling me that things like that are wrong to do before marriage or until I get older. I also get really shy and nervous about being close to someone, and I just don't think I could ever bring myself to doing things like that at this age. But then when he touches me, I feel totally different, like I want to do things of the sort. It's like my total teenage instincts coming out, and each and every horomone fighting with my mind and the right decision. I'm also afraid that if I end up telling him no, that he'll love me less. I mean, I know he respects me enough to not force me in to things, but won't it be so weird to be around him just after denying? I mean what if he ends up breaking up with me over that? What if things change? I just can't stand why sex is the thing that everyone thinks about! What's so damn great about it, anyway?
I asked him today why exactly guys want so much sexual stuff, and he said that the lust is out of their control. It's just something they're born with, and it's just something they need.
In a way I understand, but come on! How unfair is that to a woman? It's very disrespectful! And ugh, reader, I'm just so confused. I know deep down that I won't let things get very far, but how is that going to effect things? Sometimes I wish I were still young, you know? Back when no one knew what sex was, and the idea of dating was just innocent.
I know I love him. I told him that today, and he said he loves me too. But does he really love me enough to know that I want my body respected and that I need to respect myself also?
Please, I need feedback. I need to understand what to do.
That's all for now.
<3 M
Friday, May 23, 2008
Good evening!
My oh my, busy busy busy. I don't remember what day it was that I last wrote in here, so I'll just start from my most exciting or adventurous events.
Uh, I think it was Tuesday...yes. It was on Tuesday that I went to the park again with Geoff. When I was biking down there, I had gotten really dizzy and faint, so I couldn't really stand or walk at first. It was actually rather funny, but I was embarrassed. We just sort of hung out for a while, but then he wanted to go in the woods on the hill, right above the baseball field. So we did, and we lay down together on a fallen tree. Reader, that was probably the most perfect moment I could ever have imagined. You picture it;
You leaning into the lap of the one you care for while you're both sitting on a fallen tree that's still a good five feet off the ground, beneath the trees, just looking up at the blue sky and clouds.
Pretty freaking amazing, it was. That is until I had to get off. We both got down and started to walk on the path when my dizziness came back. I guess my body sort of gave out on me, so while we were walking I collapsed and he caught me. Pretty much then, he pulled me so my head was on his chest, and we were just laying there in the middle of the dirt path. It was hilariously a wonderful moment I'll remember.
Hmm...oh, then when we came out and started walking down the grass hill by the fence, I got down and rolled down it. He ran down after me and then fell on top of me, so we just remained that way for a moment before realizing children and adults at the park were watching us intently. Quite awkward.
And ugh, reader, I am such an awkward person! I always have a way to ruin moments between us, but they aren't intentional! Like this time, before I had to leave, we were kissing, and since he's taller than I am, I started to loose my balance from being on my toes, and so I nearly fell and was like "EE, balance issues!" I mean, how pathetic?! You can pretty much stamp "Kluts" across my forehead.
Well, that was the lightup of my week.
Wednesday, I had a dress rehersal for my dance recital that just so happens to be tomorrow at seven! The rehersal went just lovely, except gah! My friend Nikki, at the end of her routine, has to jump off the stage and pose, and guess what happened during rehersal?! She landed on her foot wrong and twisted her ankle! Now she can't dance in the recital at all and there can be no Peanut Butter and Jelly!
.....
I bet I didn't tell you about that yet, did I? No? Oh. Well, Nikki likes this guy named Garret who is in her dance group. He's an awesome dancer, and at the recital, she was going to tell him how she feels. In their lyrical dance to "She's Like The Wind", she lays on the ground at the end and he leans close over her. I told her she should tell him then when the lights go off, but she said she'd chicken out. So she decided to do it just backstage.
But now since she's not dancing, she's going to have Lexi tell him. But still. Wouldn't it be much more romantic the way I suggested?
Oh, so back to Peanut Butter and Jelly..
Peanut Butter=Garret
Jelly=Nikki.
Our friend came up with it. Sort of random, yes.
So Thursday...oh man!
Geoff hadn't really talked to me much during the day, and didn't say a word during lunch, so in FCS, I pretty much got sick from worrying. I thought he was mad at me, or going to break up with me. I overreact to everything, you see. I feel that I'm too...blah for him. That he deserves better, you know? So whenever something like that happens, I always think for the worst. But it turns out that he was just in a pissy sort of mood, but apparently not at me. He saw me shaking and heard my quivering voice and thought I was really ill, and I was in a way, but I was just worried. Just to hear that everything was okay and to feel him kiss me...well, I felt so damn relieved.
Today, well, not much happened. Everything was just pretty normal.
I think that's all I have to say.
OH! WAIT!
I'm teaching myself the guitar! Mmmhm!
I can already play a few simple things, and I managed to learn
"Hey There Delilah" yesterday.
If you have any guitar advice or tabs I'd be interested in, let me know!
<3 M
My oh my, busy busy busy. I don't remember what day it was that I last wrote in here, so I'll just start from my most exciting or adventurous events.
Uh, I think it was Tuesday...yes. It was on Tuesday that I went to the park again with Geoff. When I was biking down there, I had gotten really dizzy and faint, so I couldn't really stand or walk at first. It was actually rather funny, but I was embarrassed. We just sort of hung out for a while, but then he wanted to go in the woods on the hill, right above the baseball field. So we did, and we lay down together on a fallen tree. Reader, that was probably the most perfect moment I could ever have imagined. You picture it;
You leaning into the lap of the one you care for while you're both sitting on a fallen tree that's still a good five feet off the ground, beneath the trees, just looking up at the blue sky and clouds.
Pretty freaking amazing, it was. That is until I had to get off. We both got down and started to walk on the path when my dizziness came back. I guess my body sort of gave out on me, so while we were walking I collapsed and he caught me. Pretty much then, he pulled me so my head was on his chest, and we were just laying there in the middle of the dirt path. It was hilariously a wonderful moment I'll remember.
Hmm...oh, then when we came out and started walking down the grass hill by the fence, I got down and rolled down it. He ran down after me and then fell on top of me, so we just remained that way for a moment before realizing children and adults at the park were watching us intently. Quite awkward.
And ugh, reader, I am such an awkward person! I always have a way to ruin moments between us, but they aren't intentional! Like this time, before I had to leave, we were kissing, and since he's taller than I am, I started to loose my balance from being on my toes, and so I nearly fell and was like "EE, balance issues!" I mean, how pathetic?! You can pretty much stamp "Kluts" across my forehead.
Well, that was the lightup of my week.
Wednesday, I had a dress rehersal for my dance recital that just so happens to be tomorrow at seven! The rehersal went just lovely, except gah! My friend Nikki, at the end of her routine, has to jump off the stage and pose, and guess what happened during rehersal?! She landed on her foot wrong and twisted her ankle! Now she can't dance in the recital at all and there can be no Peanut Butter and Jelly!
.....
I bet I didn't tell you about that yet, did I? No? Oh. Well, Nikki likes this guy named Garret who is in her dance group. He's an awesome dancer, and at the recital, she was going to tell him how she feels. In their lyrical dance to "She's Like The Wind", she lays on the ground at the end and he leans close over her. I told her she should tell him then when the lights go off, but she said she'd chicken out. So she decided to do it just backstage.
But now since she's not dancing, she's going to have Lexi tell him. But still. Wouldn't it be much more romantic the way I suggested?
Oh, so back to Peanut Butter and Jelly..
Peanut Butter=Garret
Jelly=Nikki.
Our friend came up with it. Sort of random, yes.
So Thursday...oh man!
Geoff hadn't really talked to me much during the day, and didn't say a word during lunch, so in FCS, I pretty much got sick from worrying. I thought he was mad at me, or going to break up with me. I overreact to everything, you see. I feel that I'm too...blah for him. That he deserves better, you know? So whenever something like that happens, I always think for the worst. But it turns out that he was just in a pissy sort of mood, but apparently not at me. He saw me shaking and heard my quivering voice and thought I was really ill, and I was in a way, but I was just worried. Just to hear that everything was okay and to feel him kiss me...well, I felt so damn relieved.
Today, well, not much happened. Everything was just pretty normal.
I think that's all I have to say.
OH! WAIT!
I'm teaching myself the guitar! Mmmhm!
I can already play a few simple things, and I managed to learn
"Hey There Delilah" yesterday.
If you have any guitar advice or tabs I'd be interested in, let me know!
<3 M
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Party until you can't stand.
Hello, reader.
It's been a few days again, I know, but it's the end of the school year.
And that means my posts are going to be a bit late and rushed. Once school lets out on June 7th, I think, then I'll be able to post more freely.
So not much happened in the earlier part of the week. All except for last night, which was our end-of-the-year party! I guess I'll start from the beginning, like I should.
The party started at seven and went until eleven o'clock. After school I went over to Rae's house to get ready. We were just hanging out in her room for a bit before she got a text and informed me that Evan and Kellin, two guys from our grade, were going to come over for a bit before the party. So sure enough, they arrived soon since Evan lived only a street or two away from Rae. The first part was quite awkward, because...
Evan: "Hey, Kellin."
Kellin: "Yeah?"
Evan:"I think we should pants M before we leave."
Kellin:"We should."
M:"Uh, no way."
So I made sure that when I was walking around them or up the stairs that I held on to the top of my pants. And I was successful, because neither of them got to doing what they planned. After that, we hung out in Rae's room for a bit and they played some wrestling game on Rae's X-Box. Around six thirty, the guys went back to Evan's while Rae and I got ready. Then Shelly and Anne showed up, so they got ready with us too. Reader, it was quite awkward walking across town to the party. Would you like to know why? Well, the group of us majorly were dressed up in wacky clothing and bright colors/make-up. I was wearing a long green t-shirt dress with black and white horizontal striped leggings, and bright green make-up. Anne said we probably looked all like hookers. And maybe we did?
So for the first part of the party, there was a magician who did some stuff for us in the auditorium. That was actually pretty cool, despite how it sounds. When it was time for food, I met up with Geoff and a few others to eat. Now, reader, usually Geoff doesn't get dressed up at all. But last night, he looked so amazingly gorgeous in that black collared shirt...wow.
Er, uh, anyway..we had food and what not, then they did some of those "This person is most likely to (dot dot dot)" things. They made one for everyone in our class. And would you like to know what mine is? "M is most likely to become a famous photographer." I honestly don't take many pictures, so that was a poor choice. But at least it wasn't anything embarrassing.
Ah, and then the dance started. Every now and then during the dance, I got a headache. And the loud music was too much to take. So towards the end for a few minutes, I took Geoff with me to step outside and take a break. We just stood there and hugged for a bit, and next thing we were kissing. We went back inside after a few minutes, after he attempted to throw me over his shoulder and carry me down the stairs. That was quite terrifying, but I begged him not to. So he put me down then.
I pretty much danced the rest of the time though, and he and I slow danced twice. By that time, the party was over and I had plans to stay over at Nikki's house with Rae, Marie, and Nikki. After kissing Geoff goodbye, we headed over to Nikki's mother's car and blabbed our way back to her her house. There we watched Silent Hill and talked about things, then went to sleep around two-ish. Rae, Nikki and I all crammed onto one bed and then Marie slept on the floor.
When I woke up in the morning, I felt so sick and exhausted. Like I was hungover without drinking. But altogether, the party was worth it. I had a marvelous time. What a way to end this graduating year.
So dear reader, I didn't do much of anything today. I came home from Nikki's and stayed in my PJ's all day. I basically lounged and did my best to recover.
But as for now, I must be on my way.
<3 M
It's been a few days again, I know, but it's the end of the school year.
And that means my posts are going to be a bit late and rushed. Once school lets out on June 7th, I think, then I'll be able to post more freely.
So not much happened in the earlier part of the week. All except for last night, which was our end-of-the-year party! I guess I'll start from the beginning, like I should.
The party started at seven and went until eleven o'clock. After school I went over to Rae's house to get ready. We were just hanging out in her room for a bit before she got a text and informed me that Evan and Kellin, two guys from our grade, were going to come over for a bit before the party. So sure enough, they arrived soon since Evan lived only a street or two away from Rae. The first part was quite awkward, because...
Evan: "Hey, Kellin."
Kellin: "Yeah?"
Evan:"I think we should pants M before we leave."
Kellin:"We should."
M:"Uh, no way."
So I made sure that when I was walking around them or up the stairs that I held on to the top of my pants. And I was successful, because neither of them got to doing what they planned. After that, we hung out in Rae's room for a bit and they played some wrestling game on Rae's X-Box. Around six thirty, the guys went back to Evan's while Rae and I got ready. Then Shelly and Anne showed up, so they got ready with us too. Reader, it was quite awkward walking across town to the party. Would you like to know why? Well, the group of us majorly were dressed up in wacky clothing and bright colors/make-up. I was wearing a long green t-shirt dress with black and white horizontal striped leggings, and bright green make-up. Anne said we probably looked all like hookers. And maybe we did?
So for the first part of the party, there was a magician who did some stuff for us in the auditorium. That was actually pretty cool, despite how it sounds. When it was time for food, I met up with Geoff and a few others to eat. Now, reader, usually Geoff doesn't get dressed up at all. But last night, he looked so amazingly gorgeous in that black collared shirt...wow.
Er, uh, anyway..we had food and what not, then they did some of those "This person is most likely to (dot dot dot)" things. They made one for everyone in our class. And would you like to know what mine is? "M is most likely to become a famous photographer." I honestly don't take many pictures, so that was a poor choice. But at least it wasn't anything embarrassing.
Ah, and then the dance started. Every now and then during the dance, I got a headache. And the loud music was too much to take. So towards the end for a few minutes, I took Geoff with me to step outside and take a break. We just stood there and hugged for a bit, and next thing we were kissing. We went back inside after a few minutes, after he attempted to throw me over his shoulder and carry me down the stairs. That was quite terrifying, but I begged him not to. So he put me down then.
I pretty much danced the rest of the time though, and he and I slow danced twice. By that time, the party was over and I had plans to stay over at Nikki's house with Rae, Marie, and Nikki. After kissing Geoff goodbye, we headed over to Nikki's mother's car and blabbed our way back to her her house. There we watched Silent Hill and talked about things, then went to sleep around two-ish. Rae, Nikki and I all crammed onto one bed and then Marie slept on the floor.
When I woke up in the morning, I felt so sick and exhausted. Like I was hungover without drinking. But altogether, the party was worth it. I had a marvelous time. What a way to end this graduating year.
So dear reader, I didn't do much of anything today. I came home from Nikki's and stayed in my PJ's all day. I basically lounged and did my best to recover.
But as for now, I must be on my way.
<3 M
Monday, May 12, 2008
I saw you...
(Written on Sunday, published on Monday)
Happy Mother's Day to your mother, reader! Or possibly to you too?
I'm truly sorry for being a bit late with my post. I have been quite busy this week, and or I've been to lazy to type. Hehe.So I'm guessing I left off around Tuesday or Wednesday, right? Hmmmm...not much else happened in the week up until Friday. So I guess I will start there.
Friday over all was just a fantastic day. First of all, the math test I was nervous about was a piece of cake. I feel really confident on how I did, so I'm very pleased with myself. Uh, and then Friday was the day I went over to Geoff's house for the first time.He rode the bus home with me first of all so I could drop my stuff off at home and ask my mother's permission. She said it was okay so she drove us to his place. It didn't hit me until we were walking up on the lawn to his door that I realized I was as scared as hell. I started to hyperventilate, so he had to calm me down a bit. Once inside, everything was just fine. His parents are just lovely, and I'm so relieved that I wasn't interrogated.We went to his room and decided to watch Sweeney Todd (I still hadn't seen it up until that day). We just sort of cuddled on his bed while watching about the first three quarters of the movie. But then we just started talking and what not, and kissing. Then randomly I started to tickle his sides. And he knows how unbelievably ticklish I am...so he said "All right, two can play that game." and so he pinned me down and started tickling me instead. Eventually we just stopped and layed there, him being partially on top of me. We started kissing and then he was kissing my face and my neck and my chest. We both know very well that it wouldn't go farther than that, so we sat up and just hugged.I had to go shortly after, but we made out one more time before hand. Oh, haha, and I didn't mention something. You see reader, my friends are very perverted and wack. They enjoy touching other people in awkward places. Every friend of mine finds enjoyment in grabbing my butt for some odd reason. And he noticed that. So before I left, he said he just had to do it and so he did. I let him because eh, what's the point, my friends already violate my boundaries. What's one more person grabbing my ass going to do?
Heh, so like I said. Friday was splendid.
Saturday was the day where I was in a fuss. I still didn't know what to buy my mom for Mother's Day, and I was having issues with my year old cell phone. I made a deal with my dad to drive me into the big city about twenty minutes away from my little suburb town so I could buy a new phone and get mom's present. We left at about one thirty in the afternoon.Ha, see, Geoff also wanted me to go to the city with him that day. But since I had things to do, I told him that my dad wanted me to go with him. So here we are, my dad and I on the freeway in his blue car. I was trying to sort out some last minute phone issues, so I wasn't paying attention. The next thing I know..."M?""Yeah, dad?""Do you know that kid?""Uh, what kid?"He points to the silver car that pulled ahead of us."Some guy in that car was looking in here at you.""Oh. I dunno him. I didn't see, anyway." I really didn't see him, though. But then about five minutes later, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Geoff saying..."We just passed you, and I saw you with your dad." I burst out laughing then, and told my dad, and he laughed too. How crazy was that, driving past at the same time?So, well, I got my new phone in the city. We had to go to three different places because the one I wanted wasn't anywhere to be found. And as for my mom's present, I wanted to go into Yonker's to buy some jewelery for her. But my dad was being stubborn and wouldn't go into the store. So I had to settle for buying her the DVD "P.S I Love You". Which really isn't that terrible, because I saw the movie back in January with her and we both loved it.
Now Sunday, or today I should say, hasn't been very interesting. For mother's day, my family and I had some reservations at the Country Club for lunch. The food was amazing, and I ate so much that I probably have to go up a size in pants. Er....not really, because reader, I have a weird system. I never gain anything from what I eat, no matter how much I eat! I'm still a size 1-3, and I've been that size for going on three years now. I also haven't gotten any taller. I'm taking after my mom, and I'm probably going to remain 5'2 the rest of my life. Although being short isn't too bad, because now I have excuses to wear heels all the time when I get older.
I just got back from eating, actually, and I'm going to head over to my grandparent's house for a while this afternoon with my mom while my dad and his friend go golfing.As a matter of fact, I better get going too. We'll be leaving very shortly.
I'll try and write more often, and sooner. Forgive my laziness!
<3 M
Happy Mother's Day to your mother, reader! Or possibly to you too?
I'm truly sorry for being a bit late with my post. I have been quite busy this week, and or I've been to lazy to type. Hehe.So I'm guessing I left off around Tuesday or Wednesday, right? Hmmmm...not much else happened in the week up until Friday. So I guess I will start there.
Friday over all was just a fantastic day. First of all, the math test I was nervous about was a piece of cake. I feel really confident on how I did, so I'm very pleased with myself. Uh, and then Friday was the day I went over to Geoff's house for the first time.He rode the bus home with me first of all so I could drop my stuff off at home and ask my mother's permission. She said it was okay so she drove us to his place. It didn't hit me until we were walking up on the lawn to his door that I realized I was as scared as hell. I started to hyperventilate, so he had to calm me down a bit. Once inside, everything was just fine. His parents are just lovely, and I'm so relieved that I wasn't interrogated.We went to his room and decided to watch Sweeney Todd (I still hadn't seen it up until that day). We just sort of cuddled on his bed while watching about the first three quarters of the movie. But then we just started talking and what not, and kissing. Then randomly I started to tickle his sides. And he knows how unbelievably ticklish I am...so he said "All right, two can play that game." and so he pinned me down and started tickling me instead. Eventually we just stopped and layed there, him being partially on top of me. We started kissing and then he was kissing my face and my neck and my chest. We both know very well that it wouldn't go farther than that, so we sat up and just hugged.I had to go shortly after, but we made out one more time before hand. Oh, haha, and I didn't mention something. You see reader, my friends are very perverted and wack. They enjoy touching other people in awkward places. Every friend of mine finds enjoyment in grabbing my butt for some odd reason. And he noticed that. So before I left, he said he just had to do it and so he did. I let him because eh, what's the point, my friends already violate my boundaries. What's one more person grabbing my ass going to do?
Heh, so like I said. Friday was splendid.
Saturday was the day where I was in a fuss. I still didn't know what to buy my mom for Mother's Day, and I was having issues with my year old cell phone. I made a deal with my dad to drive me into the big city about twenty minutes away from my little suburb town so I could buy a new phone and get mom's present. We left at about one thirty in the afternoon.Ha, see, Geoff also wanted me to go to the city with him that day. But since I had things to do, I told him that my dad wanted me to go with him. So here we are, my dad and I on the freeway in his blue car. I was trying to sort out some last minute phone issues, so I wasn't paying attention. The next thing I know..."M?""Yeah, dad?""Do you know that kid?""Uh, what kid?"He points to the silver car that pulled ahead of us."Some guy in that car was looking in here at you.""Oh. I dunno him. I didn't see, anyway." I really didn't see him, though. But then about five minutes later, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Geoff saying..."We just passed you, and I saw you with your dad." I burst out laughing then, and told my dad, and he laughed too. How crazy was that, driving past at the same time?So, well, I got my new phone in the city. We had to go to three different places because the one I wanted wasn't anywhere to be found. And as for my mom's present, I wanted to go into Yonker's to buy some jewelery for her. But my dad was being stubborn and wouldn't go into the store. So I had to settle for buying her the DVD "P.S I Love You". Which really isn't that terrible, because I saw the movie back in January with her and we both loved it.
Now Sunday, or today I should say, hasn't been very interesting. For mother's day, my family and I had some reservations at the Country Club for lunch. The food was amazing, and I ate so much that I probably have to go up a size in pants. Er....not really, because reader, I have a weird system. I never gain anything from what I eat, no matter how much I eat! I'm still a size 1-3, and I've been that size for going on three years now. I also haven't gotten any taller. I'm taking after my mom, and I'm probably going to remain 5'2 the rest of my life. Although being short isn't too bad, because now I have excuses to wear heels all the time when I get older.
I just got back from eating, actually, and I'm going to head over to my grandparent's house for a while this afternoon with my mom while my dad and his friend go golfing.As a matter of fact, I better get going too. We'll be leaving very shortly.
I'll try and write more often, and sooner. Forgive my laziness!
<3 M
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Dear reader,I apologize for being a few days late with my post. I've been quite busy, you see. I'll only have twenty minutes to type out this post and I have a lot to say, so wish me luck!
So we left off on Saturday then, correct? Right. I don't think I got a chance to write about Saturday so I will do so now.I didn't do much to begin the day, but then in the afternoon I got a call from Geoff asking if I wanted to do something. Of course I said sure, so we both biked down to the park for about an hour and a half. We just sort of talked for a while first but then we lay down next to each other on the little kid playground thing. He just sort of held me there and I rested my head on his shoulder and nuzzled my face in his neck. I was sort of shielding myself from the wind and cold because it was chilly that day, and cuddling with him did a wonderful job of that. I nearly fell asleep but the sound of a siren woke me up, and he laughed. Next thing I know, we're pretty much making out. I had to go in the middle of that, so after one last kiss, I left.Being with him makes me really happy, and I'm so thankful. My friend Monica begged me to tell her "how far I've gone" and when I told her about finally kissing him in a serious way, she got so excited. Now she's trying to push me towards other things (if you know what I mean), and I'm angry with that. I'm not a skank, and I'm saving myself for marriage! She just doesn't understand that.
Uh, let's see, Sunday...Ah, yes. I hung out with Shelly for the good portion of the day. We took some pretty awesome pictures around town and put them on myspace. I had a fairly decent weekend!
Monday didn't have much excitement. I honestly don't have anything to write about it.
Now today was pretty fun. I walked home with Anne and Geoff and we went to my house (I'm starting to get more comfortable with the fact that he's in my personal home.) to hang out. We were there for a while and then we went on a walk through the woods next to my house. We ran up and down these dirt/sand hills that seriously go quite high up, and then we would run at full speed down. Oh, and I also dared Anne to make a "dirt angel" and she did. It was pretty hilarious.
Other than that, things are okay. I best be going.
<3 M
So we left off on Saturday then, correct? Right. I don't think I got a chance to write about Saturday so I will do so now.I didn't do much to begin the day, but then in the afternoon I got a call from Geoff asking if I wanted to do something. Of course I said sure, so we both biked down to the park for about an hour and a half. We just sort of talked for a while first but then we lay down next to each other on the little kid playground thing. He just sort of held me there and I rested my head on his shoulder and nuzzled my face in his neck. I was sort of shielding myself from the wind and cold because it was chilly that day, and cuddling with him did a wonderful job of that. I nearly fell asleep but the sound of a siren woke me up, and he laughed. Next thing I know, we're pretty much making out. I had to go in the middle of that, so after one last kiss, I left.Being with him makes me really happy, and I'm so thankful. My friend Monica begged me to tell her "how far I've gone" and when I told her about finally kissing him in a serious way, she got so excited. Now she's trying to push me towards other things (if you know what I mean), and I'm angry with that. I'm not a skank, and I'm saving myself for marriage! She just doesn't understand that.
Uh, let's see, Sunday...Ah, yes. I hung out with Shelly for the good portion of the day. We took some pretty awesome pictures around town and put them on myspace. I had a fairly decent weekend!
Monday didn't have much excitement. I honestly don't have anything to write about it.
Now today was pretty fun. I walked home with Anne and Geoff and we went to my house (I'm starting to get more comfortable with the fact that he's in my personal home.) to hang out. We were there for a while and then we went on a walk through the woods next to my house. We ran up and down these dirt/sand hills that seriously go quite high up, and then we would run at full speed down. Oh, and I also dared Anne to make a "dirt angel" and she did. It was pretty hilarious.
Other than that, things are okay. I best be going.
<3 M
Friday, May 2, 2008
Accidental Biting...ooops.
Oh, dear reader!
So much has happened within the last two days since I've talked to you. I think I'll start with what happened yesterday. It's always best to start at the beginning of things, right?
Well, if it hadn't been for that stupid message I sent Turkey, none of this would probably have happened. Potato likes Joan. Joan likes Potato. It has been confirmed!! Shelly was so miserable last night, and at times during the day today, she was too. But I think she'll get over him anyway; he's just a shallow skateboarder who only cares about pencil thin girls with blonde hair that wear tons of make-up. I think she's beginning to realize that too. So I'm not quite as worried about her as I was last night. I cried about it last night because I felt so bad for her, and I was worried about what she could possibly have done. But she didn't do anything bad, so I was quite relieved when we talked in school today and she was just fine.
Now today we had an early-dismissal, so we got out at 1:05...two hours early! Anne, Shelly, Geoff and I had plans to hang out after school down at the park. But it was raining outside, so we didn't know what to do. It was We still wanted to go to the park, and we ended up doing so. But it was Shelly and Anne's idea for me to take Geoff back to my house with me! I was like "Uh, no!?!" because I didn't want him meeting my parents yet! But then he seemed real keen on the idea, so I ended up giving in and he rode the bus home with me. Luckily I had called my mom before hand on the bus to tell her he was coming, so she was prepared. But the entire bus ride, I was hyperventilating and shaking because I was so terrified of the idea. He kept trying to calm me down, but it wouldn't work.
So we got to my house, and all the worrying was for nothing! My mother was really cool about it all, and I wasn't embarrassed in any way, shape, or form. Well, except for when HE brought up the fact that I'm clumsy and I keep tripping in school. After a while I finally got him away and we left for the park. Reader, you have no idea how relieved I was after we left. It was the very first time I ever brought a guy home.
So we got to the park and met Anne and Shelly. We got bored so we decided to walk to Super One, and we did so. After being in there for a few and getting bored, we walked all the way across town to Wal-mart and hung out in there for about an hour. Anne and Shelly wanted to be silly and hang out in the toy isles, so we did that too. Geoff and I were just sort of holding each other there, and he put his face close to me so I kissed him. It lasted longer than I expected, and pretty soon, he had put his tongue in my mouth for the first time. I wasn't expecting it, so I freaking bit it! I was like "Oh, shit." and so I pulled away. I told him that was unexpected, and so he was like "Oh, I see."
So after that embarrassment of showing how much I know about kissing, we had entirely walked around Wal-mart before we got bored again. By that time, it was around four o'clock, and he had to go. We all walked with him to the place where he was supposed to meet his mom to get a ride. It had began to rain again and we hugged goodbye, then kissed again. This time, hehe, I got it right. No unexpected biting, I swear.
After he left, it had began to REALLY pour. Anne, Shelly, and I were the only people left so we had began running across the parking lot and headed towards Taco John's for shelter. We had to dart through a small opening filled with mud and what not, and so when we got inside the doorway, we were laughing hysterically. We stood there for a bit then went back outside and had to keep walking. We had to go to the other side of town to back where the park was, so we took the side roads. We ended up stopping at the Chief Theatre (a really cute coffee shop and antique store where we love to go) to warm ourselves. By now, we had been out in the rain for more than two hours, and there wasn't a spot on my clothing that wasn't soaked. We got a cappuccino and split it at the little cafe. We were the only people in there, so we were laughing super loud and singing opera. I think we may have creeped out the poor boy who was working.
Mmhmm, so after that my mom dropped them off at home and I came home here. I took off my drenched clothing and am now lounging in sweatpants that have our school team name on the butt, a purple t-shirt from the play I was in this year, and my fuzzy green bathrobe. I'm no longer cold, so that' s good. But I'll probably get sick.
Oh, also today I was informed that my friend Spencer was in a four-wheeling accident. He's in the hospital right now, but I heard he's doing okay. I'll be sure to mention him in my prayers; will you too?
I've had a busy day, but I'm still not done. The three of us from earlier are going to see "Maid of Honor" tonight at 9:30 for a girl's night.
Wow, this was a longer post. I'll check back in a few days.
<3>
So much has happened within the last two days since I've talked to you. I think I'll start with what happened yesterday. It's always best to start at the beginning of things, right?
Well, if it hadn't been for that stupid message I sent Turkey, none of this would probably have happened. Potato likes Joan. Joan likes Potato. It has been confirmed!! Shelly was so miserable last night, and at times during the day today, she was too. But I think she'll get over him anyway; he's just a shallow skateboarder who only cares about pencil thin girls with blonde hair that wear tons of make-up. I think she's beginning to realize that too. So I'm not quite as worried about her as I was last night. I cried about it last night because I felt so bad for her, and I was worried about what she could possibly have done. But she didn't do anything bad, so I was quite relieved when we talked in school today and she was just fine.
Now today we had an early-dismissal, so we got out at 1:05...two hours early! Anne, Shelly, Geoff and I had plans to hang out after school down at the park. But it was raining outside, so we didn't know what to do. It was We still wanted to go to the park, and we ended up doing so. But it was Shelly and Anne's idea for me to take Geoff back to my house with me! I was like "Uh, no!?!" because I didn't want him meeting my parents yet! But then he seemed real keen on the idea, so I ended up giving in and he rode the bus home with me. Luckily I had called my mom before hand on the bus to tell her he was coming, so she was prepared. But the entire bus ride, I was hyperventilating and shaking because I was so terrified of the idea. He kept trying to calm me down, but it wouldn't work.
So we got to my house, and all the worrying was for nothing! My mother was really cool about it all, and I wasn't embarrassed in any way, shape, or form. Well, except for when HE brought up the fact that I'm clumsy and I keep tripping in school. After a while I finally got him away and we left for the park. Reader, you have no idea how relieved I was after we left. It was the very first time I ever brought a guy home.
So we got to the park and met Anne and Shelly. We got bored so we decided to walk to Super One, and we did so. After being in there for a few and getting bored, we walked all the way across town to Wal-mart and hung out in there for about an hour. Anne and Shelly wanted to be silly and hang out in the toy isles, so we did that too. Geoff and I were just sort of holding each other there, and he put his face close to me so I kissed him. It lasted longer than I expected, and pretty soon, he had put his tongue in my mouth for the first time. I wasn't expecting it, so I freaking bit it! I was like "Oh, shit." and so I pulled away. I told him that was unexpected, and so he was like "Oh, I see."
So after that embarrassment of showing how much I know about kissing, we had entirely walked around Wal-mart before we got bored again. By that time, it was around four o'clock, and he had to go. We all walked with him to the place where he was supposed to meet his mom to get a ride. It had began to rain again and we hugged goodbye, then kissed again. This time, hehe, I got it right. No unexpected biting, I swear.
After he left, it had began to REALLY pour. Anne, Shelly, and I were the only people left so we had began running across the parking lot and headed towards Taco John's for shelter. We had to dart through a small opening filled with mud and what not, and so when we got inside the doorway, we were laughing hysterically. We stood there for a bit then went back outside and had to keep walking. We had to go to the other side of town to back where the park was, so we took the side roads. We ended up stopping at the Chief Theatre (a really cute coffee shop and antique store where we love to go) to warm ourselves. By now, we had been out in the rain for more than two hours, and there wasn't a spot on my clothing that wasn't soaked. We got a cappuccino and split it at the little cafe. We were the only people in there, so we were laughing super loud and singing opera. I think we may have creeped out the poor boy who was working.
Mmhmm, so after that my mom dropped them off at home and I came home here. I took off my drenched clothing and am now lounging in sweatpants that have our school team name on the butt, a purple t-shirt from the play I was in this year, and my fuzzy green bathrobe. I'm no longer cold, so that' s good. But I'll probably get sick.
Oh, also today I was informed that my friend Spencer was in a four-wheeling accident. He's in the hospital right now, but I heard he's doing okay. I'll be sure to mention him in my prayers; will you too?
I've had a busy day, but I'm still not done. The three of us from earlier are going to see "Maid of Honor" tonight at 9:30 for a girl's night.
Wow, this was a longer post. I'll check back in a few days.
<3>
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Bit your lip and refrain from speaking.
Oh, reader, today was frightening.I mean, not for purposes that really seemed to involve me.Well, actually they did, but they were about my best friend Shelly.I just HAD to open my big fat mouth (or in this case, move my fingers) and nearly spoil her secret. Why can't I learn to stop meddling?!
Okay, to clear up some confusion you're probably dealing with, let me start from what had happened last night:
First of all, Shelly has a major crush on this guy we call Potato. (Potato is his code name, you see, because she's over protective of people finding out she likes him.) She likes him so much and what not, but she won't say a word to him! The most she's said was "That looks like Kyle's sweatshirt" to him when he moved her in October, or maybe it was December? I dunno. But she's only said about that much to him, and she refused to talk to him because "I'll look like a creeper, and he'll think I'm a freak!" she said. What I did not understand is how in the hell are you going to get someone to notice you if you won't converse with him? I know she's shy and all, but if you want something to happen, you've got to do SOME sort of a move! Now apparently this girl named Joan liked Potato, and there was a possibility that Potato could have liked her back. Shelly saw that they were talking and communicating in the ways that she wasn't, so last night when I was IMing her, she was all mopey. I told I her I had just about enough of this, and that since she wasn't going to do anything about it, I was going to do it for her. So I logged into Myspace and messaged Potato's friend Turkey (another code name, obviously) asking if Potato liked Joan. Turkey wrote back and said he actually didn't know, because Potato never said for sure. Here's where I made my mistake; I told Turkey that I knew someone who had strong feelings for Potato (no, of course I said his real name instead of potato), and I asked if he could keep me informed about who Potato was interested in. Turkey agreed, so I was feeling pleased with myself as I went to bed, thinking I had just done something great. Uh, wrong! The only good thing that happened today was that Joan started dating this other guy, Todd. And we were all so relieved. But during activity hour, Potato and Turkey called me over to where his group of friends were sitting and they started asking me questions about who liked him. They assumed it was either my friend Anne or Shelly, because I always hung out with them. I started to get nervous, because they had actually guessed right on Shelly. I lied and told them it was neither, but they didn't look like they bought it. And you want to know what the worst thing was? Potato's friends told me he was more happy about the fact that it was possible Anne liked him, rather than it possibly being Shelly liking him. My heart just sank when I heard that; Potato was supposed to fall for Shelly, not anyone else! Especially not Anne, who secretly likes him too! So I had to tell Shelly that Potato suspected it was her, but there was no way that I would tell her that Potato would rather have Anne like him than Shelly. In band class when I told her, I sort of began to cry in front of some people because I felt awful about ruining her chance with him. (She said before I started crying that she'll never speak to him again, and that she'll avoid him as much as possible. I think that's what made me start to cry.) I've apologized so many times to her, and you know what? She says it's not my fault and that I was just trying to be a good friend! Can you believe it? I ruined her chance with that guy, and she's still forgiving! Shelly, you are literally the best friend a person could have. I love you, pal!
I'm a bit pissy at Turkey for telling Potato what I messaged him about. That wasn't meant to be shared with other people...ugh! And you know what?! Turkey even had the audacity to SMIRK at me while he walked by my desk in English! I'm going to have to chew him out later over a strongly worded message.
Other than feeling like an awful friend, my day wasn't too terrible.Swimming was dreadful, but hey, I made it through.Science was boring, and so was math. World Geography was fun.My other classes were okay...not much excitement there.
Have I mentioned how glad I am that I have Geoff?Well, if I haven't, be sure to understand that now. The entire time during FCS, he could tell I was fighting tears because I felt badly about Shelly and Potato. He did his best to reassure me everything would be fine. I got a huge before I went in to band, and then a longer kiss after school.
Well, that took a large portion of my time. I have to go eat dinner now. I'll check in again in a day or so, but tonight I have dance pictures at my high school.
<3>
Okay, to clear up some confusion you're probably dealing with, let me start from what had happened last night:
First of all, Shelly has a major crush on this guy we call Potato. (Potato is his code name, you see, because she's over protective of people finding out she likes him.) She likes him so much and what not, but she won't say a word to him! The most she's said was "That looks like Kyle's sweatshirt" to him when he moved her in October, or maybe it was December? I dunno. But she's only said about that much to him, and she refused to talk to him because "I'll look like a creeper, and he'll think I'm a freak!" she said. What I did not understand is how in the hell are you going to get someone to notice you if you won't converse with him? I know she's shy and all, but if you want something to happen, you've got to do SOME sort of a move! Now apparently this girl named Joan liked Potato, and there was a possibility that Potato could have liked her back. Shelly saw that they were talking and communicating in the ways that she wasn't, so last night when I was IMing her, she was all mopey. I told I her I had just about enough of this, and that since she wasn't going to do anything about it, I was going to do it for her. So I logged into Myspace and messaged Potato's friend Turkey (another code name, obviously) asking if Potato liked Joan. Turkey wrote back and said he actually didn't know, because Potato never said for sure. Here's where I made my mistake; I told Turkey that I knew someone who had strong feelings for Potato (no, of course I said his real name instead of potato), and I asked if he could keep me informed about who Potato was interested in. Turkey agreed, so I was feeling pleased with myself as I went to bed, thinking I had just done something great. Uh, wrong! The only good thing that happened today was that Joan started dating this other guy, Todd. And we were all so relieved. But during activity hour, Potato and Turkey called me over to where his group of friends were sitting and they started asking me questions about who liked him. They assumed it was either my friend Anne or Shelly, because I always hung out with them. I started to get nervous, because they had actually guessed right on Shelly. I lied and told them it was neither, but they didn't look like they bought it. And you want to know what the worst thing was? Potato's friends told me he was more happy about the fact that it was possible Anne liked him, rather than it possibly being Shelly liking him. My heart just sank when I heard that; Potato was supposed to fall for Shelly, not anyone else! Especially not Anne, who secretly likes him too! So I had to tell Shelly that Potato suspected it was her, but there was no way that I would tell her that Potato would rather have Anne like him than Shelly. In band class when I told her, I sort of began to cry in front of some people because I felt awful about ruining her chance with him. (She said before I started crying that she'll never speak to him again, and that she'll avoid him as much as possible. I think that's what made me start to cry.) I've apologized so many times to her, and you know what? She says it's not my fault and that I was just trying to be a good friend! Can you believe it? I ruined her chance with that guy, and she's still forgiving! Shelly, you are literally the best friend a person could have. I love you, pal!
I'm a bit pissy at Turkey for telling Potato what I messaged him about. That wasn't meant to be shared with other people...ugh! And you know what?! Turkey even had the audacity to SMIRK at me while he walked by my desk in English! I'm going to have to chew him out later over a strongly worded message.
Other than feeling like an awful friend, my day wasn't too terrible.Swimming was dreadful, but hey, I made it through.Science was boring, and so was math. World Geography was fun.My other classes were okay...not much excitement there.
Have I mentioned how glad I am that I have Geoff?Well, if I haven't, be sure to understand that now. The entire time during FCS, he could tell I was fighting tears because I felt badly about Shelly and Potato. He did his best to reassure me everything would be fine. I got a huge before I went in to band, and then a longer kiss after school.
Well, that took a large portion of my time. I have to go eat dinner now. I'll check in again in a day or so, but tonight I have dance pictures at my high school.
<3>
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sleep sounds delicious, mm.
Well, reader, not much happened today.At school, I was late for Adv. Algebra (Let's just call it AA from now on, yes?) becausewe were registering for this lame Reward Day our school puts on at the end of the year.I personally find reward day to be hardly any fun because they have the same freakingactivities to do every year! Eh, at least it's a day out of school, right?
My friend Rae is getting on my nerves sometimes. She is so nosy! She has to know each andevery thing that's happening in my life. She asks me "So what did you do today, this weekend,last weekend, after school, or tomorrow?" every single day like it's her business. And if I do nottell her, she freaks out on me and says I'm keeping things from her. She also spazzes if I don'twrite back to her messages/texts she sends me. Do you have friends like this? Help wanted.
We had to go back to our homerooms during activity since some people started a food fight during lunch; Y-A-W-N! The aids in our cafeteria are quite lame, I mean, why not let the kids have a little fun? Let the janitors clean it up: it's what they're paid to do!
The rest of the day was pretty blah, except after school is always pretty nice. It's when I get walked out to the bus lines, and receive a hug and kiss from my lovely. Hehe, I call him my lovely just because I like the way it sounds. His real name is Geoff, though, incase you're wondering. I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have him right now. He's saved me in so many ways. What ways, you ask? Continue reading my entries and sooner or later you'll know how.
I watched "Dancing With The Stars" with my mother at seven, and I also read about a hundred pages in "Perfect". Then it was time to go to dance.I'm so sore, and tired right now. I have five different routines I am performing at the upcoming recital in May, so I'm a bit anxious for that. Four of them are group dances, and one of them is a duet with my pal Marie. We haven't worked on that one since this summer, so I hope we get it finished in time. Further updates on dance will be provided.
Alas, I must be off for now.Time to go read for a half hour and then I'll drift to sleep.
<3>
My friend Rae is getting on my nerves sometimes. She is so nosy! She has to know each andevery thing that's happening in my life. She asks me "So what did you do today, this weekend,last weekend, after school, or tomorrow?" every single day like it's her business. And if I do nottell her, she freaks out on me and says I'm keeping things from her. She also spazzes if I don'twrite back to her messages/texts she sends me. Do you have friends like this? Help wanted.
We had to go back to our homerooms during activity since some people started a food fight during lunch; Y-A-W-N! The aids in our cafeteria are quite lame, I mean, why not let the kids have a little fun? Let the janitors clean it up: it's what they're paid to do!
The rest of the day was pretty blah, except after school is always pretty nice. It's when I get walked out to the bus lines, and receive a hug and kiss from my lovely. Hehe, I call him my lovely just because I like the way it sounds. His real name is Geoff, though, incase you're wondering. I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have him right now. He's saved me in so many ways. What ways, you ask? Continue reading my entries and sooner or later you'll know how.
I watched "Dancing With The Stars" with my mother at seven, and I also read about a hundred pages in "Perfect". Then it was time to go to dance.I'm so sore, and tired right now. I have five different routines I am performing at the upcoming recital in May, so I'm a bit anxious for that. Four of them are group dances, and one of them is a duet with my pal Marie. We haven't worked on that one since this summer, so I hope we get it finished in time. Further updates on dance will be provided.
Alas, I must be off for now.Time to go read for a half hour and then I'll drift to sleep.
<3>
Saturday, April 26, 2008
The Introduction.
In the beginning...
The idea of creating my own blog for an online journal came to me as I was merely walking down the street with my brother, who is twenty. We were talking about the internet and what not, so that's when it came to me...Why not have an online journal where you can let off steam when you need to? Or just to write if you need "someone to talk to"?
I mean sure, it probably sounds a little silly to you. I bet you're thinking "If you want someone to talk to, why don't you talk to an actual person instead of a computer?" To answer that question, you must grasp this statement I'm about to make; I am not good at explaining to others how I feel. I am not good at speaking my mind aloud unless I certainly must. It also doesn't help that whenever I try to say something, usually whoever I am telling finds a way to misinterpret my words and get the wrong message. Has that ever happened to you? I bet it has.
The words and things I post in this blog will be my most honest words and opinions, for none of you readers know who I am in person! I don't have to be afraid of saying the wrong things, or if my words offend anyone. That's what is wonderful about the internet...it's full of strangers.
So who am I?
All right, if we're going to be friends on here, I may as well tell you a bit about me.
Just for personal safety and reasons, my real name will not be posted on here and I am going to go by my very first initial: M.
So hello, my name is M.
I am a girl no older than just fourteen years old, but I feel so much older than my body gives me credit for.
I seem to understand each concept of a situation, and I have been told that I have a middle-aged mind when it comes to solving problems.
Don't get me wrong, for I can be horribly immature at times. We all are, right?
In fact, more often than not, I am immature. I like to giggle about silly things, shout random words at the top of my lungs (especially when playing the "penis" game--I'll explain that one later, okay?), and I like to do crazy things without thinking. Like the time I went streaking with a friend of mine and we got caught by her neighbor? Yeah...good times...
I am often misunderstood as being a part of the "emo" group of kids at school. I really don't understand how that works, because I don't dress in black and listen to hate music. Maybe it's because I despise Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch so much. (Our school is FILLED with girls and guys who bow down to those stores.) Who knows though.
I am big into theatre, or basically the arts. I love to sing, I adore to act, and dancing is one of my passions. I have been in numerous plays, and I've been a dancer at a studio for eight years of my life. My dream for my future is to one day be in NYC on Broadway, perhaps as "Christine Daae" in "The Phantom of the Opera" or "Eponine" in "Les Miserables". If you haven't guessed it, those are my two favorite plays/movies/books of all time. I've seen them both performed live in the summer of 2005, and I've been obsessed with them ever since.
I'm an A-B student in school, and I am taking the Advanced Algebra class. I'm often told that I'm smart, but sometimes I disagree.
I really love to write poems. I'm also working on a novel, in case you're curious. It's called "Morning Frost" and it's about an online role play a friend of mine did a while back. I have my story posted on Quizilla, so if you'd like to read it, either contact me about it or search for it on there.
My life is stable; I have the two most wonderful parents that are still together, an awesome twenty year old brother who just so happens to be home from college this weekend, tons of wonderful friends, and the sweetest boyfriend you could imagine. I am content with my life right now, and I praise God for allowing me to be so fortunate.
I'm not boring you, am I? I certainly hope not.
You don't have to stick around and read everything I post, but it would mean the world to me if you did. I love meeting new people and hearing that people enjoy what I write, so don't be afraid to contact me!
That's all for now.
<3>
The idea of creating my own blog for an online journal came to me as I was merely walking down the street with my brother, who is twenty. We were talking about the internet and what not, so that's when it came to me...Why not have an online journal where you can let off steam when you need to? Or just to write if you need "someone to talk to"?
I mean sure, it probably sounds a little silly to you. I bet you're thinking "If you want someone to talk to, why don't you talk to an actual person instead of a computer?" To answer that question, you must grasp this statement I'm about to make; I am not good at explaining to others how I feel. I am not good at speaking my mind aloud unless I certainly must. It also doesn't help that whenever I try to say something, usually whoever I am telling finds a way to misinterpret my words and get the wrong message. Has that ever happened to you? I bet it has.
The words and things I post in this blog will be my most honest words and opinions, for none of you readers know who I am in person! I don't have to be afraid of saying the wrong things, or if my words offend anyone. That's what is wonderful about the internet...it's full of strangers.
So who am I?
All right, if we're going to be friends on here, I may as well tell you a bit about me.
Just for personal safety and reasons, my real name will not be posted on here and I am going to go by my very first initial: M.
So hello, my name is M.
I am a girl no older than just fourteen years old, but I feel so much older than my body gives me credit for.
I seem to understand each concept of a situation, and I have been told that I have a middle-aged mind when it comes to solving problems.
Don't get me wrong, for I can be horribly immature at times. We all are, right?
In fact, more often than not, I am immature. I like to giggle about silly things, shout random words at the top of my lungs (especially when playing the "penis" game--I'll explain that one later, okay?), and I like to do crazy things without thinking. Like the time I went streaking with a friend of mine and we got caught by her neighbor? Yeah...good times...
I am often misunderstood as being a part of the "emo" group of kids at school. I really don't understand how that works, because I don't dress in black and listen to hate music. Maybe it's because I despise Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch so much. (Our school is FILLED with girls and guys who bow down to those stores.) Who knows though.
I am big into theatre, or basically the arts. I love to sing, I adore to act, and dancing is one of my passions. I have been in numerous plays, and I've been a dancer at a studio for eight years of my life. My dream for my future is to one day be in NYC on Broadway, perhaps as "Christine Daae" in "The Phantom of the Opera" or "Eponine" in "Les Miserables". If you haven't guessed it, those are my two favorite plays/movies/books of all time. I've seen them both performed live in the summer of 2005, and I've been obsessed with them ever since.
I'm an A-B student in school, and I am taking the Advanced Algebra class. I'm often told that I'm smart, but sometimes I disagree.
I really love to write poems. I'm also working on a novel, in case you're curious. It's called "Morning Frost" and it's about an online role play a friend of mine did a while back. I have my story posted on Quizilla, so if you'd like to read it, either contact me about it or search for it on there.
My life is stable; I have the two most wonderful parents that are still together, an awesome twenty year old brother who just so happens to be home from college this weekend, tons of wonderful friends, and the sweetest boyfriend you could imagine. I am content with my life right now, and I praise God for allowing me to be so fortunate.
I'm not boring you, am I? I certainly hope not.
You don't have to stick around and read everything I post, but it would mean the world to me if you did. I love meeting new people and hearing that people enjoy what I write, so don't be afraid to contact me!
That's all for now.
<3>
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